May 10, 2009 on 8:03 pm | In Madness | No Comments

Now we’ll look at the “best of the rest” in Eurovision

Greece

Greece have a pretty good electro-tune that’s quite Steps-like – sung by a Greek genric hunk-type man bint.

He’s kind of a combination of Ricky Martin and Julian McMahon (Dr Doom in The Fantastic Four movie)..

Hang on, that bloke’s got my t-shirt…

Careful, if the wind changes you’ll stay like that…

It’s obviously all too exciting because at the end he esplodes!

Still, at least they remembered to have a key change, scoring two points in total. It’s a low scoring year, I have to say. A disappointing lack of key changes and meaningless lyrics all round! Null points!

Bosnia & Herzegovina

Whoever directed the video for Bosnia & Herzegovina has a fantastic eye for Russian constructivist art – it’s beautifully done. Unfortunately it’s a very slow song… I spent the entire time waiting for it to start, oh dear. Very much an “is that it?” song.

Still, bonus points for the art direction:

B also appreciates the fey indie men in military jackets (as you can imagine) but sadly that only gets them two points in our scoring system. Must try harder, guys!

Hungary

Another electro synth George Michael-esque gay dance number, this time from Hungary. It’s not entirely clear what the theme of their video is – I suggest “gay clubbing through the ages” as that seems to fit the best.

We start in the future, where our singer is having a bit of a lie down, probably after all that turning upside down. Very tiring stuff.

Then its time for some 1940′s “on the town” action – yes, those outfits don’t make you look gay at all guys.

No idea why they felt the need for a frankly disturbing ventriloquist show.

Then the 70s happens – oh dear.

Then finally we’re up to date – I think.

Overall, it’s not a bad song but it just doesn’t really stand out. Points for the video, but you wonder what they’ll do on the night.

Germany

Germany are represented by the “Alex Swings, Oscar Sings” … I know, it really does write itself, doesn’t it? Now apparently these guys are going to bring on Dita Von Teese on the night, who will be gyrating away on a giant black pair of lips. I say! I think I need a lie down just thinking about that… ahem. Anyway the preview video isn’t nearly so… stimulating.

Yes, we have another singer with a shirt that just will NOT stay shut, oh aye – and this isn’t even Alex, who is apparently the ‘swinger’…

After a bit of ‘open shirt singing’ they go on a cruise… err, drive, around the US.

It all ends happily and Oscar finally gets a suit and a backing band. Alex presumably gets to keep swinging.

It’s a ‘big band’ tune with nicely meaningless lyrics – oh wow, especially at the end. I think I should have given them more points for “skiddly skiddly bang”… Hmm, maybe a little key change in there as well. Oh well, the graphic’s wrong now. They should have scored 6 instead of 4. That puts them up to third in my table – what a shock result! If have Dita on the night, she could ‘swing’ it for them…

Czech Republic

Ok, so the Czech Republic may not be able to afford a fancy schmancy video, costumes or even an audience – but they don’t need it – they have a SUPER GIPSY! This is brilliant craziness.

These images don’t do justice to the madness that is SUPER GIPSY! He’s Super! and a Gipsy!

His nemesis is the violin!

I think Super Gipsy could be a shoe-in for the ‘comedy’ vote. Will that be enough? Will we be heading to the Czech Republic in 2010? You’ll have to watch on Saturday to find out!